On Wednesday morning I had a daunting task to perform. I needed to call everyone that I could reach from Run Club. I wanted to at least try to get a hold of the 'core' group before having to send an email or before meeting with them on Wednesday night.
I wasn't too successful with the phone calling. Most were working, or away, or just unreachable. I hated to leave messages on voice mail; it was so obvious though, here I am bawling and I'm saying 'this is the phone call I was hoping I wouldn't have to make' it was horrible. After a few calls I couldn't make any more.
I ended up sending an email stating the facts very plainly and simply, as I had been updating them with Ann's condition in the past. With a "See you at run club tonight".
Before run club I went to Ann's home to help pick out pictures for her memory board, etc. It was good to be among others who were grieving as I.
I drove up to the High School, sadness overwhelming me, wishing I didn't have to do this. I didn't want to talk to people in grief and I didn't feel like I wanted to discuss Ann. I wanted to keep this pain private.
I walked into the High School entry and the biggest group of runners in months turned out. There were 14 of us. All tear - eyed, and full of pain, I began to hug each and every one, around the circle of people I went. Smiling, crying, hugging. It was heart breaking. But it was healing.
We left for our run; 5 miles in the dark, around the lakes, down the highway, through the city of Big Lake. Ann's stomping grounds. The route we must have run 1000 times. Together.
When we were done we were full of smiles. We laughed, talked about Ann, laughed about Ann, told Ann stories. We all loved Ann very much.
It was where I needed to be. Our run was healing, as was our grieving together.