Thanks for your patience of me, of my ranting and raving and calling myself a failure. I'm now learning from my experience at the race and turning the corner. It only takes some time to put everything into perspective.
My swelling is going down, I managed to pee and sweat off four pounds of bloat last night. Robin, a friend of mine from Leanness Lifestyle, reminded me to use Glutamine. I did last night before going to bed, and what a difference I felt this morning. Glutamine helps to repair damaged tissue and muscle cells. Gee, I think I have a bit of that going on inside. Wouldn't it be awesome to see what running these ultras does to the cells and muscles; then to be able to watch the repair process. I've been eating plenty of lean proteins to help with the repair. Much of the pain has lessened today. I know it isn't only because of the Glutamine but I know that this did help. I'll continue using.
I'm realizing that my experience at Superior was a gift to me. All of my running expereinces are gifts. Yes, even the DNF's. Probably more the DNF's than anything else. This was a huge learning experience. I learned more about myself than I probably ever have and I did have a lot of fun. I'm not quite ready to share all that I have learned of myself.
I know that part of the reason I'm not recoving as well as I could is due to my fuel. I have become 'carb phobic'. I know that when Coach Dave at Leanness Lifestyle suggested I look into Paleo Eating For Athletes, I was all for it. LL works in conjunction with PEFA. Then I began to get sloppy with it, I became less careful of adding the good carbs in (sweet potato, recovery drinks with glucose/fruit/protein powder/juice)after hard efforts. I didn't eat the recovery diet as I should. I usually feel nausous after a hard effort of 6 + hours and usually don't eat afterward for quite some time. I was done with Superior in the early afternoon of Saturday, after working hard for 30 hours and didn't eat until Sunday morning. This is probably a reason for my delayed recovery start. This is a wake up call to me, another learning experience. For some to look at my diet, it is pretty damn clean. But I'm ready to bring it up a notch. To eat the 5 stages/windows with PEFA prescribes. The same way Joe Friel trains his athletes. I'll recover more quickly and be ready for the next workout fueled and ready to go. I'm eating Stage 5 now as I recover and will follow PEFA very very tightly. My first long workout will be Twin Cities Marathon in 2.5 weeks and I will have my recovery food ready in a cooler post race.
During the race I was able to spend a LOT of time with some new acquaintances (Stuart and Jerry are a few) and strengthen new friendship, such as with Maria. We really spent a lot of great hours together. It was only the last few that were grin and bear it!
Not reaching my goal at Superior will not break me, nor stop me from trying again. The anger that I feel over not reaching my goal will fuel my fire for the next time. I wouldn't have tried this race if it hadn't been a challenge. I knew it would challenge me to my capacity; I enjoy challenges.
I felt so very defeated on Saturday and Sunday. I felt like I had failed myself and that I had wholly let myself down. I couldn't stop crying because I hurt so badly inside. I wasn't worried about what others thought; I don't put much into what others think of me. But to let myself down, that was a huge disapointment.
I've had a hell of a year, I've progressed more than I even though I could. And next year, I'll kick Superior's Ass.
I received an email from a person that has been reading my blog for a while. She attached this message to the email that she read in Runner's World:
"I HAD THE CHOICE TO DECIDE WHETHER RUNNING WAS GOING TO BE AN ACTIVITY THAT ENHANCED MY LIFE OR JUST ONE MORE AREA IN MY LIFE IN WHICH I WASN'T ABLE TO LIVE UP TO MY OWN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. I CHOSE TO VIEW RUNNING - ANY RUNNING - AS A GIFT.
I love to run. It is a gift, the joy I feel while doing so is uncomparable to anything.