Wednesday, November 06, 2019

Healing


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Healing-it seems to be a constant in my running life. Healing from morton’s neuroma surgery, healing from broken ankles, healing from fractures, healing from all of the overuse injuries of tendonitis and inflammation.  Well, here I am again, healing from another broken ankle.

Mid July I was out for a short 4 mile run preparing for Voyageur 50 Mile Trail Run. As I was happily running through the 95F heat and humidity in the bright afternoon sun and being devoured by deer flies, I stepped into a hole. It was covered by long grass and I never even saw it. I had run this path 10000s of times.  I felt my leg collapse and my foot went deep into the 8” hole. I heard my ankle pop and everything went black as I fell to the ground. A deer fly bit me in the lip as I lay upon the ground, wondering what the hell just happened.

After a few minutes I tried to get up and fell back down. I waited a few more minutes. The deer flies were everywhere, I had to get back up. I made my way vertical and hobbled out the ankle, looking at the immediate swelling. I was 4 miles from my car. I tried to run out of there. Ugh. Voyageur in 10 days and Superior 100 in a few months -  that  is all that I could think about.

Had I been warned throughout the  year that this was going to happen: my sudden cold turning into double pneumonia, unable to attend Three Days of Syllamo, unable to run Black Hills 50 M as dad was hospitalized the night before? I was healthy and in great shape, I thought.  Now not running Voyageur? Eventually not running Superior 100?  Not running Surph the Murph. All of the entries I had purchased. I’m so good at ignoring warnings. Unfortunately.  When I thought about the warnings they became so clear: weakness in my ankles, hobbling down the stairs, ignoring the pain of yet another neuroma, nerve pain and numbness in both feet, unable to bend my knees past 90 degrees, cutting open my shoes to allow more room for inflammation.  Same old. Again. Crossing that line. 

I had told myself I didn't want to be afraid of becoming injured. I told myself that I had stayed true to the 50K plan the previous year. I ran 6 50Ks, never going over that distance. I told myself I no longer wanted to 'fear' 100 mile training, I just needed to do it again. It had been a few years since my last finish. I am really good at denial and telling myself lies. I  knew I'd be flirting with disaster.


Azitala Yoga


Volunteering @ Voyageur instead of running



I went to the clinic a few days later and learned I had in fact broke the bone. I was put into a boot for 10 weeks. No weight bearing exercise, no driving ( not able to volunteer at Superior 100) no swimming, no biking. I was able to sit and practice chair yoga and to sit and work upper body in the weight room. That was it.  I learned patience. I found myself back to a daily yoga practice, mediation, journaling, volunteering at races, church and prayer. I had let some of these things go in favor of running.


Boreal Bliss Yoga Retreat photo

Now 4 months out from my injury I am able to practice yoga daily without pain, I can lift and run. I am running 3 times a week: my Monday evening run with Heather and Amy, a solo run Saturday and Sunday, not more than 6 miles at a time. I find that this is enough. It doesn’t hurt me. I am lifting 3-4 times weekly, putting on muscle. I’m in a new place. I don’t have any athletic races, events, shows or competitions on the schedule. I am going to Yoga Teacher Training beginning in January to April and May to October.  I went to the Boreal Bliss Yoga Retreat a few weeks ago, it was SO wonderful. 

I am taking each day as it comes, grateful to God that I am healing, again where I have ended up in the past: trying not to cross the line into injury.



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