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I should title this post ‘from 0 to 50K in 8 weeks’ instead
of Chippewa 50K! That is exactly
how this one went down.
As I posted earlier I hadn’t run in a very long time – 7
miles in the previous 12 months and each of those miles hurt and again confirmed to me that I needed
more time off, perhaps a lifetime of no running. I made peace with that
outcome. I could no longer fight it.
After a beautiful snowstorm on February 21 I decided to pull
on my snowshoes and head out to the woods. It was an amazing morning and before I realized what I was doing
my body was running. I realized
that I have never hiked in
snowshoes before but I have always
run in them. Without thinking
about it, that is exactly what my body wanted to do. After a while I realized I
wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t out of breath…I dared believe this snowshoe running
thing might be ok. I went again the next day, and the next. I felt great.
I decided to try out my treadmill. A few minutes of walking, a few minutes of running, more
walking, a bit of running, repeat. Over the course of the next month I built up
to a 10 mile run on my treadmill. I decided I’d run the Chippewa 10K. I had run
the 50K a few times, I’ve volunteered at the race a few times and knew I was good for
the 10K. It’s a beautiful course with many lakes, bridges, hills, a blue heron rookery, all sorts
of good stuff. I missed being at a
race, out in the woods with others, I missed my friends.
Of course the treadmill is not a trail. The trails were
still a mess-ice, snow, mud, dangerous. I hiked a few miles each day
with screw shoes and more running on the treadmill. I wanted to see if I
could run 4 hours on the treadmill. I did, I didn’t hurt. I was tired, but I
didn’t ache. I had blisters as
usual but that was it. I was beginning to have a sliver of hope that I might be
able to run again.
I began to put recovery first. Ice baths, rest, anti
inflammatory foods, yoga, etc.
Recovery was foremost in my training plan.
Once I ran the 4 hours on the treadmill I decided I’d go for
it and see I could try 50K. I contacted Jeff, the RD, to see if I could move up
from 10K to 50K and of course he
said I could. I was afraid and
anxious and excited and so relieved.
I promised myself I wouldn’t continue if I hurt myself. Promise.
With one week left for a long run out doors I decided to try
Lake Maria with a 5 hour goal. I
was only able to get 16 miles in the 5 hours. The trails were a blend of ice,
snow, mud, water…they were a disaster; but my body, my body was not broken! My body was strong and felt good. I had
hope and fear. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to make it 16 miles in the 4 hours allowed before the turn around at
the race. I had 4 hours on the out and 5 hours on the back. I’d give it my
best, yet safe, shot.
I didn’t post my entry to facebook, didn’t tell any of my
running friends that I’d be at Chippewa. Perhaps I wasn’t so sure. Jeff (RD)
and a few people from work were all that knew my plan.
By Friday I was having second thoughts. I had so much
anxiety. Did I always have this
much anxiety? I looked at the roster of runners ..was I was concerned that they
would judge my capability. Would they see me as unfit? As slow? As a has been?
It was really strange. Would I think these things of others? No. Never. I was
anxious about waking at 330, driving to the race, feeling the anxiety. Maybe I’d just sleep in. Maybe I’d
already moved out of this ultra running world and I should just let it be.
Maybe I didn’t want back in. Why did I want back in? Why did I want to run 50K
again?
I wanted to run 50K again because I wanted to spend a day in
the woods, working toward a goal. I wanted to run longer than the 10K that I had
entered previously before I thought I could do 50K. 50K wasn’t even a thought a
few weeks ago. I wanted to reconnect with friends of mine that I only see at races . I wanted to see if
I could. I wanted to see if I could stop if the pain of injury came, could I
stay on this side of the line? I was willing to bet that I could. I wasn’t going to let anxiety win. I’d be sitting at home wishing I had
decided to go to the race instead. Ugh.
I went home Friday after work and decided I wouldn’t set my
alarm. If I were to awake at 330 (right) I’d go. If I didn’t I’d let sleeping
dogs lie. What an avoidance technique!
Sheesh. I decided to put together my pack, look at the map, aid stations
and just do this. Oh the anxiety. It was overwhelming.
I wonder if I’ve always been so riddled with anxiety and
depression. I believe so. I countered it with drugs and alcohol. I suppressed
it for many years. Running takes the edge off.
Morning came and some of the anxiety had somewhat diminished.
I went through the motions, packed my stuff and the headed for New Auburn WI. I picked up my bib and shirt, said hello to many of my friends and headed back to my car to get ready. I felt like I was going to be able to do
this, I felt that it was going to be a beautiful day on the trail.
Deep breathing, calming breathes. The anxiety left the
party.
Well, the story here is more of the leading up to the race
than the race itself.
I lined up near the back of the pack, listened to Jeff give
a description of the course and before I knew it we were running.
I was testing out a few things. I have a Garmin XT from 2008
that I was still wearing as well
as an Apple 3 watch I purchased this winter. I wasn’t sure how long the battery
on the Apple would last. I’d find out. I put my phone into airplane mode and
stopped all notifications to the watch. I never listened to any music. Happily I still had 40% battery life
when I was finished. The splits were identical to the Garmin and the Apple is
SO much smaller and lighter, it will be good for up to 50K.
(Greg Leciejewski took this photo at the start)
The course was beautiful. It smelled like spring. It was 33F
when we started and 53F when I finished. The lakes were mostly frozen, there
was some ice and snow on the trail, some mud, mostly beautiful grass and dirt.
It really was great. I wore my Nathan Firefly pack, which I’ve only worn for
100 mile races. I normally only carry water bottles. I was concerned with the
time it would take me between aid stations, I may need more water than usual. I
filled up my pack on the way out at 10 miles, the way back 20 miles. That was
plenty. I didn’t eat anything off of the aid station tables. I had gels, honey stinger waffles and picky
bars with me. I had plenty of energy.
(Greg Leciejewski took this photo at 2 mile mark)
I made it into the turnaround under 4 hours. I knew it
wouldn’t take me 5 hours to get back. I was being conservative on pace to err on the side of caution. So far so good.
My knees were becoming a bit sore on the downhill. As long as I was on the flat or
going uphill I could move well. I had mincy short steps on the downs, trying to
sink into my quads, giving my knees a rest. I fell twice. Keep trudging.
The last 3 miles were very muddy. The trail had warmed up, it
was soft wet mud. It was slow picking. My blisters were starting to scream at
me so I just trudged on. I knew I was almost at the finish. It finally hit me
that I was actually going to finish, that I was again a 50K finisher! I climbed up the final hill and into the
finish chute. What an amazing day. I am quite amazed that the endurance came
back in 8 short weeks. I have much work do to on the speed but that is a
challenge I am excited to embark upon. I am just so darn grateful to have been
able to complete a 50K race, without injury or pain.
I visited with friends, hung out for a while, changed
clothes and drove home, with a smile on my face the whole way.
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