National Running Day

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Today is National Running Day. Yes, those of us whom run know that there is such a thing. Last year I tried to ignore posts on FB as friends and pages I like showed how much they loved to run. It was painful to feel pained while seeing them. I felt filled with envy, with hurt, with depression and anxiety. I felt a whole lot of things that I didn’t want to feel. I was kind of embarrassed of myself that I felt so low regarding not actively running.  I learned that I was more than a runner. I didn't realize how much I was wrapped up in the way I identified myself as a runner.  I let the feelings come, I cried, I went for an easy walk. I remember the day clearly. It was rough. Kind of like National Dog Day when I no longer have a Topaz.

I had a rough year. I had to learn to be ok with not running. I learned to be ok with not being a runner, with not identifying myself as a runner. I had been a runner for many years and not being a runner hurt me deeply. I truly felt that I wouldn’t run again. I had to be ok with it. I had to move on. I did. I learned that  I could. I learned that I could be sober and not be a runner. I never thought about drinking during this time period. 

I moved on, I learned to embrace not running. I learned to no longer pine away for it. To no longer force it.  I tried other activities. Hot yoga. Painting. Hiking. Knitting. All to fill the time, the void, I had in my life due to not running. It was hard but I had to move on. I had to cry, feel the feels, let them go and move on.

I ran a total of 7 miles last year. Every day I tried to run. Every day I wasn’t able to run. My feet hurt or my knees hurt or my hips hurt or my back hurt. Every damn thing hurt. It was crazy. I cried as I would stop after running a few steps .. and walk. At least I could walk.

I tried CrossFIt again and hurt my damn knee during a 15 minute box jump workout. Oh jeeze. I couldn’t believe it. Now I couldn’t walk or hike either. Unreal.

Hot yoga helped. I could stretch and sweat. I jumped into 5 classes a week. At least it was something. I changed my outlook. I no longer cringed when I saw others running along the road. I was no longer envious.  I was able to be happy for them. I remembered the happiness I used to feel while running. It was good. I was glad I had been able to feel that joy from running.

When others would ask about running I would say I was cutting back, when in fact I wasn’t running at all..but I didn’t know how to say that. I thought it would make them uncomfortable and they would ask more questions I didn’t want to answer. After 6 months I simply said ‘I’m no longer running’. Ugh. Not easy. 

Over the winter I tried a few knitting classes. I learned, I knitted, I spent hours in the chair, knitting.

Finally snow came…for some reason I decided to get on my snowshoes and hike. I wanted fresh air. I was tired of knitting.  My body didn’t hike. It ran. I was running on snowshoes for over 5 minutes. I was puzzled. How did I just run??

I was overjoyed but scared to be joyful over the 5 minutes I had just run on snowshoes.   The next day I tried a few more minutes running in the snow. Nothing hurt. A few days later I tried it again. Wow, 8 minutes total running out of 45 minutes walking. SCORE!

The ice storms hit and the trails became treacherous. I looked at my trusty treadmill. It has thousands of miles on it. It had been waiting for me for over a year. I started it and walked 8 minutes, then ran 2 minutes. Nothing hurt. I did it again. And again. Nothing hurt. Wow. I was overjoyed but scared. The pain could still come.

Fast forward 6 months. I  am a runner. Tears fall from my cheeks as I type out those words. I didn’t think  I would ever use them to describe myself again. I am a runner. I love running. I LOVE RUNNING. How can I love an act? How can I feel so deeply about the act of running?  I don’t know…but I LOVE running. It encompasses me like a friendly warm blanket. Unless it is a hot humid summer, then it is a fresh cool breeze. Yup, running is all that is good.  It is kind of absurd, unless you are a runner..then you know. 

Vacations are planned around races, camping around runs, I use vacation time to get in a long run some mornings…oh how I love it. I know that we wouldn’t have visited the places we have if I hadn’t been a runner. I wouldn’t have had the experiences that I have had if I wasn’t a runner. I wouldn’t have the friends I have had  if I hadn’t been a runner.

My knees aren’t swollen, my inflammation is low, I’m eating an anti inflammatory diet, I am taking cold baths, I am hydrating fully but  not too much, I am fueling my body…so that I can run and not become injured. That is my goal.

I am not in competition with anyone, not even myself, not looking for race goals or time goals or any of that.  I’ve been there and done that and loved it. It made me who I now am.  I am  just being myself, enjoying myself, enjoying running, while I run. I do strive to find the line between enough and too much, that is what I am on the look out for. I don’t want to snuggle up too closely to that line and I certainly don’t want to cross it. I am no longer afraid of it though. I need to learn to manage myself so that I am fully aware of the line. Sometimes I ignore it, sometimes I become too fixated on a goal and I cross it. I would rather not do that again.

Morton's neuroma in my left foot will need to be surgically removed as done in my right. It hasn't changed at all without running. It is still there, letting me know of its presence. I am wearing the toe separator and wide Altra shoes which really help. 

I am so black and white. So all or none. I have to wonder if my mind wasn’t able to allow any running for some time. If it had to be none. I don’t know. I don’t know.

National Running Day. I am a Runner. I am happy to be a Runner. I am grateful to be a Runner and to now know that I am so much more than just that!

Chester Woods 50K

On Friday Steve and I drove down to Eyota MN to camp and run the Chester Woods 50K. I've never run Chester Woods. I was always a FANS 24 Hour Run girl. Rain was forecast the whole weekend so I was kind of dreading the wet soggy tent!  Fortunately the forecasters were incorrect and the weekend was dry!  We had a fabulous time.

We arrived to Eyota, just out of Rochester before dark so were able to set up camp in the daylight. The campground was very nice, very modern. Usually we camp in more rustic environments, this was a treat. Clean showers and restrooms, electricity, firewood for sale..all the modern conveniences!

I woke at 4AM on Saturday and couldn't believe that it wasn't raining. After grinding my beans and creating my morning french press (yay for electricity) I walked to the start area to get my bib, tank and to visit. The website was kind of difficult to read..I wasn't sure of aid stations, entrants or course information. I didn't know if I'd know anyone at the race. I bumped into Greg, Rick, John, Kevin, Travis and Stephanie at the start. Yay for friends at the race!  

After learning that the course was a loop and that aid stations were plentiful, I walked back to camp and exchanged my pack for a single bottle. I wouldn't need more than a bottle and a few gels. I didn't carry any music or extras.

We started on pavement for half a mile or so before we turned onto grass trail. Most of the race was nice soft surface-grass, wood chips, soft dirt...it was really great. Mostly woods, some open prairie, real cool bridges over water filled with people kayaking and fishing. 

As I ran back into the lot after the first 12.5 miles I caught a glimpse of Steve wandering through. What great timing!  He was looking for a place to fish from. I filled up my bottle with water from Greg's aid station at his car and ran on to loop 2. Greg and I ran 90% of the race together and picked up Travis for the third loop. We had  a blast. It was so great to run with them, laugh, catch up on what's going on the last year that in which I only ran 7 miles. It felt really great to be better conditioned and stronger than during Chippewa 50 only 6 weeks ago. I am certainly feeling more like myself. 

Travis, Greg and I ran into the finish at 640 or so...I nabbed a 2nd place in my age group. We were given cute mason jars, a jar/ornament ? for the age group placing. I drank a COKE, had a banana, passed on the hotdogs, chips and cheese and walked back to camp.  My body held together-no aches or pains. It was a fun day!

After showering in the hot clean modern shower, Steve and I hiked some trails out of the campground and then sat down to a nice fire with potatoes, carrots and onions on the grill. Yum!

I'm thinking of Black Hills 50K next. I'm liking the 50K distance-it doesn't grind me down. I am thinking about Voyageur 50 M but not certain...that's probably reason enough to let it pass me by this year. I did enter Afton 50K, looking forward to it!

Chippewa 50K was an 809, Chester Woods a 640. I'm getting more fit. Different courses but not all that different in topography.

Man it feels good to feel good!

Chippewa 50 K or 0-50K in 8 weeks

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I should title this post ‘from 0 to 50K in 8 weeks’ instead of Chippewa 50K!  That is exactly how this one went down.

As I posted earlier I hadn’t run in a very long time – 7 miles in the previous 12 months and each of  those miles hurt and again confirmed to me that I needed more time off, perhaps a lifetime of no running. I made peace with that outcome. I could no longer fight it. 

After a beautiful snowstorm on February 21 I decided to pull on my snowshoes and head out to the woods. It  was an amazing morning and before I realized what I was doing my body was running.  I realized that  I have never hiked in snowshoes before  but I have always run in them.  Without thinking about it, that is exactly what my body wanted to do. After a while I realized I wasn’t in pain, I wasn’t out of breath…I dared believe this snowshoe running thing might be ok. I went again the next day, and the next. I felt great.

I decided to try out my treadmill.  A few minutes of walking, a few minutes of running, more walking, a bit of running, repeat. Over the course of the next month I built up to a 10 mile run on my treadmill. I decided I’d run the Chippewa 10K. I had run the 50K a few times, I’ve  volunteered at the race a few times and knew I was good for the 10K. It’s a beautiful course with many lakes, bridges,  hills, a blue heron rookery, all sorts of good stuff. I  missed being at a race, out in the woods with others, I missed my friends.

Of course the treadmill is not a trail. The trails were still a mess-ice, snow, mud, dangerous. I hiked  a few miles each day  with screw shoes and more running on the treadmill. I wanted to see if I could run 4 hours on the treadmill. I did, I didn’t hurt. I was tired, but I didn’t ache.  I had blisters as usual but that was it. I was beginning to have a sliver of hope that I might be able to run again.

I began to put recovery first. Ice baths, rest, anti inflammatory foods,  yoga, etc. Recovery was foremost in my training plan.

Once I ran the 4 hours on the treadmill I decided I’d go for it and see I could try 50K. I contacted Jeff, the RD, to see if I could move up from 10K to 50K  and of course he said I could.  I was afraid and anxious and excited and so relieved.  I promised myself I wouldn’t continue if I hurt myself.  Promise.

With one week left for a long run out doors I decided to try Lake Maria with a 5 hour goal.  I was only able to get 16 miles in the 5 hours. The trails were a blend of ice, snow, mud, water…they were a disaster;  but my body, my body was not broken!  My body was strong and felt good. I had hope and fear. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to make it 16 miles in the 4  hours allowed before the turn around at the race. I had 4 hours on the out and 5 hours on the back. I’d give it my best, yet safe, shot.

I didn’t post my entry to facebook, didn’t tell any of my running friends that I’d be at Chippewa. Perhaps I wasn’t so sure. Jeff (RD) and a few people from work were all that knew my plan.

By Friday I was having second thoughts. I had so much anxiety.  Did I always have this much anxiety? I looked at the roster of runners ..was I was concerned that they would judge my capability. Would they see me as unfit? As slow? As a has been? It was really strange. Would I think these things of others? No. Never. I was anxious about waking at 330, driving to the race, feeling the anxiety.  Maybe I’d just sleep in. Maybe I’d already moved out of this ultra running world and I should just let it be. Maybe I didn’t want back in. Why did I want back in? Why did I want to run 50K again?

I wanted to run 50K again because I wanted to spend a day in the woods, working toward a goal. I wanted to run longer than the 10K that I had entered previously before I thought I could do 50K. 50K wasn’t even a thought a few weeks ago. I wanted to reconnect with friends of mine that I  only see at races . I wanted to see if I could. I wanted to see if I could stop if the pain of injury came, could I stay on this side of the line? I was willing to bet that I could.  I wasn’t going to let anxiety win.  I’d be sitting at home wishing I had decided to go to the race instead. Ugh.

I went home Friday after work and decided I wouldn’t set my alarm. If I were to awake at 330 (right) I’d go. If I didn’t I’d let sleeping dogs lie. What an avoidance technique!  Sheesh. I decided to put together my pack, look at the map, aid stations and just do this. Oh the anxiety. It was overwhelming.

I wonder if I’ve always been so riddled with anxiety and depression. I believe so. I countered it with drugs and alcohol. I suppressed it for many years. Running takes the edge off.

Morning came and some of the anxiety had somewhat diminished. I went through the motions, packed my stuff and the headed for New Auburn WI.  I picked up my  bib and shirt, said hello to many of  my friends and  headed back to my car to get ready.  I felt like I was going to be able to do this, I felt that it was going to be a beautiful day on the trail.

Deep breathing, calming breathes. The anxiety left the party.

Well, the story here is more of the leading up to the race than the race itself.

I lined up near the back of the pack, listened to Jeff give a description of the course and before I knew it we were running.

I was testing out a few things. I have a Garmin XT from 2008 that I was still wearing  as well as an Apple 3 watch I purchased this winter. I wasn’t sure how long the battery on the Apple would last. I’d find out. I put my phone into airplane mode and stopped all notifications to the watch. I never listened to any music. Happily I still had 40% battery life when I was finished. The splits were identical to the Garmin and the Apple is SO much smaller and lighter, it will be good for up to 50K.

(Greg Leciejewski took this photo at the start)

The course was beautiful. It smelled like spring. It was 33F when we started and 53F when I finished. The lakes were mostly frozen, there was some ice and snow on the trail, some mud, mostly beautiful grass and dirt. It really was great. I wore my Nathan Firefly pack, which I’ve only worn for 100 mile races. I normally only carry water bottles. I was concerned with the time it would take me between aid stations, I may need more water than usual. I filled up my pack on the way out at 10 miles, the way back 20 miles. That was plenty. I didn’t eat anything off of the aid station tables. I  had gels, honey stinger waffles and picky bars with me. I had plenty of energy.

(Greg Leciejewski took this photo at 2 mile mark)

I made it into the turnaround under 4 hours. I knew it wouldn’t take me 5 hours to get back. I was being conservative  on pace to err on the side of caution.  So far so good.

My knees were becoming  a bit sore on the downhill. As long as I was on the flat or going uphill I could move well. I had mincy short steps on the downs, trying to sink into my quads, giving my knees a rest. I fell twice. Keep trudging.

The last 3 miles were very muddy. The trail had warmed up, it was soft wet mud. It was slow picking. My blisters were starting to scream at me so I just trudged on. I knew I was almost at the finish. It finally hit me that I was actually going to finish, that I was again a 50K finisher!  I climbed up the final hill and into the finish chute. What an amazing day. I am quite amazed that the endurance came back in 8 short weeks. I have much work do to on the speed but that is a challenge I am excited to embark upon. I am just so darn grateful to have been able to complete a 50K race, without injury or pain.

I visited with friends, hung out for a while, changed clothes and drove home, with a smile on my face the whole way.

Wax Eloquent

I don't know what it is about running that makes me wax eloquent, makes me feel vibrant and alive, creates great joy inside of me.  I truly don't know that I can pinpoint exactly what it is. It is so many things.

For years I thought those feelings were simply felt because running was something that was SO far off of my radar, that the act of becoming a runner, the act of becoming something that I wasn't, created those feelings. Instead of being hung over, feeling sick, smoking cigarettes.. I was running. I had changed the script. I was able to rise above that shame that I felt.  I thought that the deep change in me created those feelings that running brought to the surface. I no longer believe it is that simple.

After not running for months-which is  longest time for me to abstain from running since I began in 1997-I  believed that I probably wasn't going to be able to run again, I sought other ways to feel joy. I did feel joy through these other situations .. but not THAT joy.   Not that unabashed, all encompassing joy. Deep rooted joy-down into the bone joy.  Other runners know exactly what it is that I'm talking about. While not running I mourned the act, I mourned the feeling that I was no longer a runner but I was able to to put that away and be OK. Just OK. I was able to go on and no longer force recovery, pine away and sulk. I had made peace with no longer running. I had to.  I couldn't be gloom and doom all day.

In February while snowshoe running I stopped and realized what I was doing. I was snow shoe running! Running! I began to bawl. Whole heartedly whole bodily bawl. I fell to my knees and all of this emotion came to the surface. It is what I would envision would happen to me if I saw Topaz running down the trail to me. That. Exactly. I hadn't gone out to snowshoe run. I had gone out to hike upon snowshoes but the body knew what it was doing before the mind. I realized how much I missed running. How much I loved...how can one love an act, a movement, a thing such as running? The act of it, the feel of it, the blood pumping through my body, the heat, the sweat, the smiling, the focus, the not focusing on anything. Just being. Just being ME. After getting home that day I wondered if I dared try it again. Nothing hurt. My neuroma wasn't any worse that it had been. Not better but not worse. My knees didn't hurt. My hips felt fine.  I felt great. I stretched out, practiced yoga, ate many non inflammatory foods and slept well. I was going to make my recovery count. The next day I didn't hurt. I wanted to try it again. I tried it again, snowshoe running increased to an  hour. Nothing but joy.

Over the past few weeks and months  I've moved from snowshoes to treadmill, from treadmill to trail and increased my time and miles running. I'm not in pain. I feel like me. This past weekend I ran a twenty mile long run and it was superb. Everything has changed again. Those months of darkness have led to light. It feels good to dig out my GUs, my hydration pack, to think about daily running routes. Yeah, I've missed it. SO much. I'm letting myself feel it.  I am diligent in my recovery. I am keeping inflammation at bay with a diet rich in inflammatory foods and spices, icing my shins and knees just in case, practicing yoga to keep my tendons, ligaments and facia loose. I am placing recovery in the forefront of my training. Training. Yup, this girlz gotz goalz.

Morton's Neuroma Relief?

Could it be?


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Last month I began to run a bit. I was outside on snowshoes and before I knew it I was running. I was apprehensive, nervous and giddy with excitement all at the same time once I realized I had been running, not walking!  Wow!

I was still noticing neuroma pain-it just hasn’t gone away or lessened at all while taking time off. I didn’t feel any other pain.  I’ve been feeling great, have been running on my treadmill each day, completing an hour of 5 minutes walk at 4 mph @ 3 % incline x 5 minutes run at 5 mph @ 3 % incline. My body has been feeling  great my mind jubilant.  The neuroma zingers are as usual and it feels as though I have a giant walnut under my foot. I have been going to book surgery again with my prior neuroma surgeon but I’ve also been  looking  online for various ways of relief other than cortisone shots and the surgery route which I went through with my other foot and neuroma.

I have tried cortisone, foot pads, orthotics, wide shoes, tape,  ice and a zillion other things. As I was searching online I found a Visco-Gel Top Spacer with Stay Put Loop which looked interesting and promising. As I was reading about it I read a comment online from my friend, Sheila, multiple IronMan finisher. She has been using them for years and they have been working for her so I ordered a package and have been using  them every day  since. I am wearing them in  my work shoes, my running shoes, my slippers, everything. I place it between my third and fourth toe, separating those metatarsals. Guess what? I don’t feel   my neuroma! I DON’T FEEL MY NEUROMA!  I can’t even believe it. It’s almost too good to be true.  But I believe.  I am getting a second chance.

If you are suffering be sure to try one of these little guys. It just might work for you, too! I am really excited!

My Heart

I still don't have a dog!  I can't really believe that I've gone almost THREE years without one. Topaz passed three years ago, in May. I certainly thought I'd have found a little fur ball to love by now. Toffee, our 19 year old cat, passed away one year ago next week. Steve is allergic to cats,  I won't have another. Well, he is allergic to dogs, too. We have been without an animal for the first time in our 34 year marriage. Crazy.

I almost picked up a pup in December. A beautiful little blue border collie. I just couldn't pull the trigger. I am not sure why. I know that I have room in my heart to love another dog. I know that the pain and loss I am going through in losing Topaz is well worth the love I gave and received. Obviously, I knew he wasn't going to live forever. I knew I would lose him eventually.

Perhaps I am afraid of loving that hard again? Perhaps I am protecting my heart? Perhaps I am not sure if I want to be chained down to a dog well into my 60s? I can't even think that far into the future, yet, it is only 7 years. Wow. WOW.

Maybe it is due to new flooring and furniture in my home. Nah,  I don't think so.

I don't think my heart can stand another break, I don't think my heart can love that hard again.

Time will tell.

Let It Snow!

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This past weekend we were blessed with the first real snowfall of the season.  It seems that the past few snowstorms have just missed Big Lake, leaving me with a longing for snowshoe running. This weekend the snow arrived.   It was beautiful, wet and heavy.

Saturday I had errands to run in Maple Grove so I swung by Elm Creek Singletrack  afterward. It was just as beautiful as I had hoped. The snow was deep and powdery. It shimmered like diamonds under the robin egg blue sky. The pine trees were heavy with piles of white snow, resembling heaps of icing.   It was magnificent.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks.  What is it about running that makes me feel…feel everything so deeply. Feel what? Feel gratitude for my surroundings, for the peace and quiet, for time by myself, for movement, for fresh air. I’m not sure.   I don’t feel the same as I begin a hike. I strapped on my 17 year old snow shoes-how can they really be that old, I remember buying them shortly after I purchased Topaz. Crazy! I began to travel down the trail, scaring the squirrel and rabbits into the underbrush. I made the first tracks.  It was  magnificent.  I trudged along, sinking into soft snow, loving the moment where I was. My feet felt good, my knees were fine, I began to run. I smiled, I laughed and cried. I spilled over with joy, it was tangible.

I hadn't run for almost a year; inconceivable,  I would have thought, yet I took the time off. I thought perhaps my second neuroma would heal, the ligaments in my knees would feel  strong again,  my ankles would not be so sore. I began to practice hot yoga, deep fascia tissue release, active release therapy,  walking instead of running,  prayer and release of control It all  helped. 

My neuroma didn’t go away,  it’s there, talking to me. I’ll have to have it surgically removed as I did in my other foot. It’s been bothering me more and more as time goes on. Not running didn’t relieve the pain. The rest of my body feels good, healed.  Strong. I need to respect it and treat it well, while running.  I can do this. I should be able to do both. Health and running. They can coexist. My running doesn’t have to look like my alcoholism, does it?  Time will tell.

Time off from running taught me a few things. I had allowed running to define me.  It defined who I was, it defined my relationships,  everything about me. It no longer does. I am so much more than a runner. I get that now. I can exist without running.  I can stay sober without running. I wasn’t always so sure. Running can be a part of my life; it doesn't have to be my life.

I began a few new hobbies. I am painting, knitting,  practicing yoga, lifting. I am enjoying all of it.

I didn’t miss the anxiety of  packing drop bags, of packet pickup,  all of the people, of group training runs, of others asking if they could stick by me during a race, all of those made larger  in my mind anxieties.

I’m just taking one step at a time and smiling all the way.

VOYAGEUR 50 MILE TRAIL RUN RACE REPORT

On Saturday I finished my 7^th Voyageur 50 Mile Trail Run. Voyageur is really a special race. Even though the race grew by over 100 runners over last year, to 340 starters this year, it still has the small home-town feel as well as a family feel.  The first year I ran Voyageur in 2004, there were 85 starters!  Yes, 85. I know so many of the people who run Voyageur or who are volunteering , it is just like an ultra family reunion.

I stayed with Jean and Jody. Jody would be running her first 50 mile race! Woot!

We stayed at Black Bear Casino. It was clean, it wasn’t very noisy, but oh man, the smoke!  I hadn’t thought about the fact that Casino’s allow smoking. Ugh. Our room was ‘smoke free’ but the cigarette smoke penetrated the non smoking room.  I won’t stay there again.

Race morning was beautiful, 48F with  a promise of mid 70s with clear skies. The promise didn’t disappoint!

At the start there were so many friends!  Hugs, kisses, photos, it was like a family reunion.  I dropped a few Ziplocs off at the drop bag stations incase I might want to use gloves or spikes through the powerlines. I never did need them.

Greg and I were going to run the first few hours together. He felt he went out too fast last year and wanted to hang with me as I don’t go out to fast. Ever. I just don’t go fast period.  We ended up running the first two hours together. It was so great to hear about his trip out West to crew/pace Bob while running and finishing HardRock!  The miles went by quickly.

There were a few bunch ups along the first section out to Jay Cooke and the swinging bridge. I don’t recall this in the past. There was some mud, some water and a few rocky climbs. It was holding people up. We stood around and waited. No rush!

After running over the swinging bridge we came into Aid Station 1. Woo!  It is so much fun to run along and see friends volunteering. With so many aid stations I really have to watch the clock to make sure I’m not spending too much time visiting! There were 9 aid stations, which you hit twice which means loads of time to spend hanging about talking. I just have so much fun though and love these people so much. I can’t help myself.

Shelly was there with Greg’s bag, switching out bottles, asking what he needed. I had a full Nathan vest on so didn’t need anything. It was getting warm and humid. We moved on through and began the run toward the powerlines.

When we ran into Aid Station 3, Peterson’s, I had a Ziploc bag there. I grabbed my gloves from the bag just incase I needed them for grabbing vegetation to hold onto while climbing the powerlines, if they were muddy and slick. Rick was  pouring water and was going to fill my pack while I still wore it upon my back. All was going well until he dropped the pitcher of water. BRRR!  Down my back/butt it went. It was freezing!  We had a good laugh and off we went!

The miles were going by quickly. We were going to be heading into the powerlines soon. Guess who we run into, Andrew and Ed!  So funny. We have a little game going on this year, since Psycho Wyco.  They are in front of me, I catch them, they try to beat me to the finish. They succeeded at PW, not at Chippewa, and now at Voyageur. So much fun, really!!  I couldn’t contain my laughter and smiles.

Aid Station 4 Grand Portage, entry to the powerlines. As I was running  toward the station I spied Jean on her bike!  It was so good to see her and get a hug. She was there to support Jody and thought she should be coming in soon. She took a few photos, I emptied my gels, mixed a bottle of UCAN as was on my way.

The powerlines weren’t muddy! I didn’t need the spikes or the gloves. I was able to climb them just fine and pick my way down. Greg had some nifty poles, I might look into a pair. After we climbed the first few powerlines I asked Greg if he’d like to go in front of me as I was picking my way along more slowly and looked like he could really move. He went off ahead and I didn’t see him again until I was coming into the turnaround,  as he was about two miles ahead.  He was moving well!

As I was climbing along I ran into Casey, who I haven’t seen since Superior 100, 2006, I believe. We talked and laughed, caught up a bit. It was so good to see him again.

I felt really great. My legs felt strong, my breathing was good, no problems, I was so thankful to be able to do this race, to spend a long day in the woods. I gave thanks. I thought about how fortunate I was to be able to do this. I really love it.

Before I knew it I was out of the powerlines and running toward yet another aid station. Amazing. They were all over the place. Wearing my vest was overkill. I really only needed a handheld bottle, which is what I normally use. With Superior 100 on the horizon, a vest is a practice measure.

I began to run alone. Even with over 300 people on the trail we had spread about and I enjoyed the solo time. I was taking care of myself, consuming salt tablets, nutrition and plenty of water. I wasn’t in any pain. I was just smiling, spending time in the moment, feeling joy. I hadn’t even thought about  listening to music.

I was coming in on Fond du Lac and knew that Doug and Maria would be at this station. I couldn’t wait!  I ran in and saw all of the ducks that Todd had placed in the water. So cute!  Big blow up duckies. What a treat!  I hugged and caught up with Maria for a few minutes, congratulated her on NeverSummer 100K and then had to get a move on.  I ran through the water, petted a blow up duck and hit the trail.

Becks Road was coming up next. UMTR aids this station so I knew I’d see many friends there as well. As I came in there were many hugs and photos. Matt, Amy, Willow, Rob, so many that I am not listing because I still have ‘ultra brain’. Rob asked me to try a pickle. I did, it was really good!  I had a few cups of Coke and headed across the road. Good times!

I felt like I was running from one group of friends to another group of friends; strung together by a wonderful trail.  This was really great.

The woods were beautiful. There had been plenty of rain this summer, everything was green and lush, most of the horse holes were filled in with thick grass and running was pretty easy. I was keeping my heart rate under 140 without a problem, running about an 11-12 minute mile most of the time. I was going to be running into Skyline Parkway next and knew that I had a drop bag there. I could get rid of the spikes I had been hauling and the gloves. Shelly was going to drop my bottle here, too, so I could mix another bottle of UCAN. The UCAN, a few gels, some watermelon and Coke seemed to work well for me.

The water crossing were not real deep, but deep enough to cool my feet. I couldn’t believe I didn’t feel any blisters yet. This year I haven’t had any blisters at all.  This may be due to the Altras I’ve been wearing. I usually have at least some hot spots.

I came into Skyline and Brook and Mike said someone came through asking if anyone knew Julie Berg. Shelly had dropped my bottle for me!  How thoughtful. They handed it off to me, I dug around in my bag and prepared a bottle of UCAN. I dropped the spikes and gloves, chugged the bottle and headed out. It was so much fun to see everyone. I began to climb the road section, knowing that I’d be at the turnaround soon.

The cut-off for the turnaround at the Zoo is 7 hours. I figured I’d be there by 6. No problem. The sun was warm now, we were exposed along the road. Much of this part was a climb before heading down into the Zoo. I walked along, climbing climbing climbing. Pretty soon I was at Spirit Mountain. It is so cool to run along the face of the ski hills, looking down at the Lake Superior, looking up at the chair lifts. I enjoyed it so much. As I was running along many of my friends were running back toward me. I love the out and back on this course. I never meet anyone in the powerlines where the trail is narrow. I usually meet the bulk of the runners along the wider paths going into the turnaround. I saw so many friends, stopped to chat, hug, talk, then run along. I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt blessed. I am.

At the turnaround I spied Jean!  She asked me how I felt so good, how could I be having so much fun? I tried to explain it to her-that I just really, really enjoyed spending the day in the woods, how much I love to run, how great it is to reconnect with friends. I don’t know if I was able to explain this well enough to her. She told me she was expecting Jody soon, I was thrilled!  I filled up my bladder, emptied out a few gel packs, consumed was watermelon and told Jean I had to head out. She took a few more pictures and I began the long climb back up Spirit Mountain.

I began to notice a feeling kind of like shin splints in my left leg. That’s weird. Maybe it was the walking, climbing out from the turnaround. I haven’t had shin splints for years, I couldn’t really understand the feeling in my leg. Maybe my sock or gaitor was too tight. I haven’t been walking that much. I found that it hurt more to walk than it did to jog, so I began to jog up the hills. That helped for a while.

I dug out my iPod and figured I’d listen to some music to distract myself. Unfortunatley I think my iPod decided to die on this day. I kept messing with it but couldn’t get it to work. I have had it since 2007!  I asked a guy running along to take a look at it, turns out his last name was Berg, too!  He couldn’t get it to work, he was willing to GIVE ME HIS iPod (really!), then we tried my iPhone in airplane mode. That worked fine, so I listened to music for a while. Thank you Mr. Berg!

I popped back into Skyline, was happy to get off of the exposed road and ready to hit the trail again. I dug around in my bag, grabbed a few cliff blocks, said hello and goodbye to Brook and Mike and was on my way.

The trail to Becks Road was quiet!  I only saw a few other people during this time. It was such a beautiful day. I was running well, feeling good, feeling so thankful for this day..and then the left leg would remind me that it was not happy.

I was beginning to lose the ability to push off with my left foot. It felt stiff. I ran into Becks, had some more coke, thanked everyone and pushed on.

Maria was coming up next at Fond du Lac so I was going to ask her for advice. I’d get this gaitor off and see what was going on under it. When I looked down at my leg it looked a little bit swollen, but none more than usual after 30 miles..you know?

I came into the aid station and asked if I could sit in the chair. I never sit in the chair!  I plopped down and told Maria and Doug I had to get my gaitor off. Maria asked Troy to retrieve her BioFreeze. I told  her I felt like I had a shin splint or something. I was was flexing my foot up, feeling my shin, I told her it felt like tendonitis. She removed the gaitor, I told her to throw it away. She placed it into a baggie and said she’d wash it and maybe she’d sell it on EBAY. How much can we get for a Julie Berg gaitor she asked? It was hilarious. I sat there laughing! The BioFreeze felt good, I got up and was able to walk ok. Maria walked me out of the aid station and off I went!

The next section has some crazy climbing with ropes going up hills to grab, now I’d be going down very steeply. I knew this could be rough without any flex in my foot. I tried to keep it steady as I took teeny tiny steps down the steep downs. Ouch. Now it hurt. What the heck? Shin splints are dumb. Go away.

I moved on, still found that running felt better than walking so jogged the uphills and picked my way down them, trying not to flex my foot. I decided to take a few Advil to see if that would take the edge off. It didn’t. That kind of concerned me.

The course flattened out a bit, I was able to run pretty well in sections before climbing back through the powerlines. I knew it would be difficult with this stiff foot hanging behind me. I just couldn’t flex it. I never thought that this might be anything more than soreness from shin splints, a bit of tendonitis. I knew that shin splints go away pretty much as soon as I’m done running, I’ve had them before.

I found that I could still run downhill pretty well. There were long long downhills that I was able to run along pretty quickly, again passing Ed and Andrew. Ha!  Good times!  I really was having a blast and kind of tucked my pain away into another crevice of my mind. I just wasn’t going to think about it.

The powerlines were pretty warm now. Climbing was great, coming down was a bit difficult without flexing my foot. Oh well. It wasn’t too bad. It was getting real warm. The powerlines are exposed so I was heating up. I took a few more salt tabs.  Drank some more water, began to think about Coke  at Peterson’s!  I was only about 10 miles from the finish.

I came into Peterson’s, so excited for Coke!  I drank 2 cups, had a gel, knowing the sugar and caffeine was going to be like rocket fuel for me. It was. I was able to really run quickly on the flats, enjoying the experience.

Jay Cooke!  I couldn’t believe that I was at the final aid station. I gave out hugs and thanks, drank some more  Coke and ran across the bridge. I was really excited I was going to finish around 13 hours with this leg thing which had held me back.  The last section is the most difficult for me. Not so difficult at the beginning, miles 1-3, but difficult at the end, miles 47-50. It is rocks, roots, steep scrambles over boulders and just painful. It also feels like it goes on forever.

I kept smiling, knowing I had almost made it. I moved very slowly, all of those people that I had passed were passing me now. Even Ed and Andrew came along. I had to laugh, told them I’d see them at the finish. Now I was getting concerned, I was dragging my foot along, it was not letting me move it at all. What the hell?

I had to scooch down onto my butt to get down some of the rocky ledges, trying to hold my foot straight. My shin was pretty swollen now. What in the world. Dumb shin splints. I finally came up to the bridge, walked across the bridge and up onto the bike path. I tried to run and couldn’t even run on the bike path. Hmmmm….not good.  My foot was not having it. Another person passed me. Oh man. I grimaced and kept on.  I made the turn and could see the finish line!

Oh happy day!  I blocked out the pain and jogged toward the end. I could hear all of the bells, the Julie Bergs!, the clapping and cheering. So much fun!  I crossed the finish line in just over 13 hours. Thank goodness!!  Jean and Jody took pictures; Jody made it to 40 miles before she was pulled-her longest run!!! So awesome!! She felt good! Big hugs for all of  my friends, Greg finished in 12 something, was doing well, it was one big party. I feel so grateful to be a part of this community, it really is special.

I visited for an hour or so and decided to head for home. I have about a 2.5 hour drive. I had some cramping on the way, didn’t stop, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to walk on my foot, it felt stiff.

Sunday my leg was red and swollen. I hobbled around, able to make it to Church and grocery shopping. Monday I couldn’t place weight on it.  Red, swollen, intense pain. I was sure it was broken now. How could have I run on a broken leg? Did I cross that damn line again between fun and injury again? No way. It didn’t feel that bad at the time. I thought it was a shin splint. Or tendonitis. Ugh.

I went to the clinic on Monday and learned I have a thing; cellulitis, a skin infection. The MD diagnosed it right away. I told him I really thought I broke something. Nope, it’s a skin infection. He drew a line around the red swollen area and told me if it grew out of this line I needed to go to the ER. He prescribed antibiotics that I’ve been taking for three days now. The redness is gone. I still can’t walk on it, can’t place any weight upon it which seems odd to me. The swelling is going down. I’m unable to flex my foot.  I can’t help but think I have cellulitis AND a fracture. It’s very painful. The MD doesn’t believe the run had anything to do with the infection. The infection just came out while I was running. If it had come out a day earlier I wouldn’t have been running. Very strange.

Oh well, I otherwise have felt great after this race. No muscle soreness, no blisters, no other pains. Awesome recovery. I guess I was in pretty good 50 mile shape!